Day 5: Role reversal

Well I've made it thorugh the week without any overeating.  Hopefully the cycle has been broken.

J and I had a pretty serious conversation on wednesday....kind of came out of left field and I was surprised at what he had to say.  Essentially I think he's been hurt and discouraged by the fact that I've been saying no a lot when he asks me to do things.  He feels like I make time for everyone else, but not for him and said he would appreciate it if I could be a little more spontaneous and be willing to put my work aside sometimes to do things with him. He mentioned that he feels like our friendship used to be completely on his terms and now its become all on my terms.  I was shocked that he even recognized this because this was one of my main complaints with out relationship and I hated that he had all the power.  Have the roles really reversed?  I would hate to think that I am making him feel the way I did.  I wouldn't wish that upon someone.

Overall, I was surprised that he was feeling this way because I often feel as though he really only wants to spend time with me when there is no one more exciting around.  Honestly, I didn't really think that he cared that much and I feel bad that I am hurting his feelings.

However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that his expectations of me are in some ways unreasonable.  He's my FRIEND, not my boyfriend, so I don't really owe him any of my time.   Would he ask that of anyone else?  I feel like he has higher expectations of me than the girl he is dating.  Why??  Its not normal.  

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Comments (13)

  1. donutopen

    Guys will always choose their friends over their gf. Must be why he’s acting like that flies away

    May 08, 2014
  2. makeitstopnow

    The gf is the one that has higher expectations for herself, but not all guys care but when their friends are in a bad place and they have just realized it they want to make them feel better and try to push them to become better and lift their self-esteem.

    September 27, 2014
  3. searchingforinnerpeace

    Perhaps he feels more for you than the girl he is dating……..you may mean more to him than she does. Just sayin…..

    May 04, 2015
  4. annespatz

    Since you are his friend, you do owe him some time, but not all your time. Find a balance between work and him? I know, easier said than done.

    June 23, 2015
  5. musical_cherrie

    First of all: Great job for getting through the week, that is an awesome achievement and YOU should be PROUD!

    As for the “best guy friend” situation: Just be honest. He was able to open up to you, right? So open up to him. Explain that you never meant to ignore him, but he does have a GF, you want to make her feel comfortable. There are boundaries that you both have to accept because he IS in a relationship. However, he is you friend and he care about you. Set some boundaries for him and explain that you are focusing on yourself right now. But that you will make more time for him, but not all of it. I am not sure if you have feelings for him, but if you do..you need to set those boundaries, or be honest. Good luck girl!

    July 17, 2015
  6. mathmatical
    Weight loss is hard. Congratulations on making it so far!

    October 10, 2015
  7. oryory

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    October 26, 2015
  8. hannah06

    Nice activities of day 5. Hey! why don’t you try rush essays to express your feelings and activities on internet. You can catch more readers and more people for feedback. It can make your content viral on internet.

    May 12, 2016
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